I decided to spend Labor Day making jam, which for me goes something like this:
1) Decide to make jam. Tell myself, “This year it will be different. I will be organized and buy appropriate portions and all the jam will set beautifully and I will not yell at the Sure-Jell.”
2) Go to the store to buy pectin, jars, fruit, and sugar.
3) Realize that I don’t know exactly how much of each to get. Attempt to eyeball the fruit.
4) Go home, start blissfully peeling and squishing fruit. Make first batch of peach jam.
5) Peach jam recipe makes half of what it said it would make. Panic.
6) Make raspberry jam. Raspberry jam makes more than the recipe said. Decide that I like raspberries better anyway and that peaches are stupid.
7) Burn hand on hot jar. Get jam on floor. Get weak and irritable and realize that have been making jam for five hours without food or water breaks. Run out of sugar. Run out of pectin. Still so many #$%^ peaches.
8) Go to store in jam covered clothing and search desperately for more supplies. Sugar but no pectin. Or maybe the wrong kind of pectin. Go to other store.
9) Go home. Make jam until collapse on couch. Eat raspberry jam with Husbandit for supper because never want to look at kitchen again.
During step 7 I took a break to check my email with sticky fingers. Neutrons/Protons let me know that my humor piece “A Letter to God Regarding Manuscript Submission ‘Amelia’s Life'” will be published in their September issue. Huzzah! Read the piece here. I’m honored to be included with so many great pieces, especially Kathryn Ross’s, “Defiance” and Matt Bower’s “Tin Man Addresses the Parole Board.”